So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
