He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
