i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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