I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
