Apparently you make a good broom.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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