oh god the rape fog is back!
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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