we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
