I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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