i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
