I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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