Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
