Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
