So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i think i have two assholes
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
The uberlube is also flammable
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
