Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
