ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
