mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize