i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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