see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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