Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
