I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Randomize
