He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize