Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I need help removing her.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
