We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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