and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Randomize
