You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
