his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
