how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
