He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
