I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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