I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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