i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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