In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
