i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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