I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
