I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
