I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize