My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
