This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
