Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
from now on my penis is your penis
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
