I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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