Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
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