i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
wanna go halves on a baby?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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