i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
