He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
