You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize