i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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