She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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