You really coming over, don't trick.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize