Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
