I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
