Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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