Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
