This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
