She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
