I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
