I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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