I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
