3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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