I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
