so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I puked a lego.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
