its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
