you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
