i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
