but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
you win again, gameday.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
