just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
