They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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