Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.

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(760): View more from California

Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.

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(914): View more from New York

Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.

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(819): View more from Quebec

I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.

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(714): View more from California

Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.

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(315): View more from New York

I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are

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