Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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