I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
My dad just said "fuck circus"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
