I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
