Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
