i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
