Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
she peed on how many people?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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