dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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