I cockslap morals
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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